The Blessing of Grieving Who You Thought You Were
Ahoy Dear Shitshows,
If you want to heal, you have to feel.
Adult Child recovery can simply be summed up as a process of grieving. There are many losses that us ACAs are forced to confront as part of this healing process…
the loss of our childhood
the loss of unconditional love and acceptance
the loss of trust in others
the loss of safety and security
the loss of emotional validation
the loss of healthy relationships with our family members
But one of the scariest things we must grieve is the loss of the person we thought we were.
So many of us enter adult child recovery in an identity crisis.
Much to our surprise, we realize that a false self has been running the show - that so many of our personality traits and behaviors are actually defense mechanisms we were forced to take on in order to survive growing up in a home where it wasn’t okay to be our authentic selves.
This can feel like a real punch to the gut. It's like realizing you've been living a lie, right?
But as daunting as it may initially seem, grieving the loss of the person we thought we were is, in fact, a tremendous blessing in disguise.
Acknowledging that the person we thought we were is not our true self can be a profound and liberating realization. By allowing ourselves to grieve this loss, we create space for transformation and growth. It opens the door to a new chapter—one filled with endless possibilities.
This journey of self-discovery is not only empowering but also deeply enriching, as it enables us to live life with greater authenticity, purpose, and meaning. While it may be challenging at times, it ultimately leads to a profound sense of fulfillment and self-realization. So let us embrace this process wholeheartedly, recognizing it as the transformative blessing it truly is.
In last week’s episode of Adult Child, I spoke with grief expert Krista St-Germain. It was a damn good episode - go listen to that shit now if you haven’t already!
Last but not least, let’s talk about why you need to DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - WHERE WE PUT THE FUN IN DYSFUNCTIONAL!
4 weekly zoom support groups (Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, Thurs 8:30 pm EST, and Sun 3:30 pm EST)
A support system at your fingertips available to you 24/7 through the mobile app
Access to discussion boards and specialized sub-communities
You can’t heal this shit on your own. Hop on board the Shitshow Ship to feel seen, heard and understood like never before!